I sank into my couch and felt that question in my heart.
Is it better to live or to die?
My heart floats on the ocean of love pondering.

Is this moment of incredible sensation and bodily relaxation something I will miss for an eternity?
Or not?

I suspect the universe is wired for more.
My being is wired for more.
My body is a temporary phenomenon, and one I can savor but will not miss.

What will death be then?
An end or a beginning?
A knowing or a question?

A mind or a freedom?
A love or a letting?
Will all the pleasures I’ve known in body hold a candle to the surrender to that flame?

And this moment, I know I am in love.
In love with flesh, and blood, and stars.
In love with you, your heart, your mind.

Longing to better understand
The sound that the lives grace.
Loving that I can feel it right now, even if death becomes me in the very next moment.

What is regret, and why give it a home?
Does it season me in ways that live deeper?
Am I missing something important if I choose not?

What is hope, and why not give it a home?
Am I a fool to believe that beauty is everywhere?
Am I a fool to love the light and the dark?

I think we are more than all this.
I believe in amazing grace carrying me on her current.
Can you trust her for a moment, enough to enjoy the ride?