July 2010

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It’s been awhile since I’ve touched a brush to a page and let my heart spill through color into the world.  Sometimes in my Yoga practice I am so taken by the amount of love pressing through me into a vast fullness of stars and people and galaxies, and I wonder why it’s so easy to stumble over these little things that show up on this winding path of living.  I think expressing art, on a screen like this or on a page with a brush or however you choose to show your love and intrigue, is the most natural way to check back IN with the center that leads and guides and re-minds us what is True.  And what is true is all of it, right?  The questions of a human stumbling along, the flight of an angel expanding through a star, the meandering of an ant taking over the world…

I wonder how to love a little more fully in a world where we are taught to close our doors.  We are taught to follow along, or if not then to watch our backs because stepping out of line is a big steady risk… But the act of Love is worth it.  It’s what makes us happy, and so much more aLive!  Alive.  We are just so blessed to feel blood moving slowly and swiftly through the highways of our veins, absorbing our slow deep breaths and feeding our minds to witness Color, children, clouds, curbs.  It’s all really amazing to wander through and touch with your heart, consider your capacity to Love.

Why do we forget?  Why get caught up in social games and concerns?  Why not re-member that feeling of being a child exploring a new place to play and dream, why not write a new Now to Fall in Love with all over again?  Why not take the time to put Color to the page, in the midst of busy moments or instead of the drone of a hypnotizing electric box or page?  Why not take a deep breath and think of how grateful you are to be able to Read, to Love, to Breathe all on your own?  Life is a Gift of a magnitude we so quickly forget.

Thank you for living here with me, in this palace of curiosity, on this globe of inhales and exhales.

I sank into my couch and felt that question in my heart.
Is it better to live or to die?
My heart floats on the ocean of love pondering.

Is this moment of incredible sensation and bodily relaxation something I will miss for an eternity?
Or not?

I suspect the universe is wired for more.
My being is wired for more.
My body is a temporary phenomenon, and one I can savor but will not miss.

What will death be then?
An end or a beginning?
A knowing or a question?

A mind or a freedom?
A love or a letting?
Will all the pleasures I’ve known in body hold a candle to the surrender to that flame?

And this moment, I know I am in love.
In love with flesh, and blood, and stars.
In love with you, your heart, your mind.

Longing to better understand
The sound that the lives grace.
Loving that I can feel it right now, even if death becomes me in the very next moment.

What is regret, and why give it a home?
Does it season me in ways that live deeper?
Am I missing something important if I choose not?

What is hope, and why not give it a home?
Am I a fool to believe that beauty is everywhere?
Am I a fool to love the light and the dark?

I think we are more than all this.
I believe in amazing grace carrying me on her current.
Can you trust her for a moment, enough to enjoy the ride?